This is Joe and He's a Robloxian
by GreatOverseer
Summary: This is Joe and he's a Robloxian. And this is his job. Part one of my Robloxian Jobs series. R


This is Joe. He's a Robloxian.

Let's look into the life of Joe for a moment, why don't we?

Joe wakes up every day in the grand old city of Turbot. He's an office worker. His job is an interesting job. I wonder what Joe does in his job?

Because I have no idea. Maybe he faps to Yaoi all day. Wait, though... no Online Dating is allowed in Turbot... Oh FU-

Joe eats breakfast in his breakfast room with his wife (in roleplay of course. In reality they hate each other). They speak in short sentences that go along the lines of "It's a wonderful day, isn't it? Why, what a wonderful day! Oh my Telamon, what a bloody wonderful day!" Then Joe leaves, abandoning his wife for the day. So where does his wife go? Oh, she goes to get some dru- I mean, she goes shopping. Eyup, shopping it is.

Joe gets in his blue car and drives on the highways to get to his office building, a short distance away in the nearby town of Noobyville. By a short distance I mean about twenty, thirty miles...? Anyways, when he arrives at his workplace, he says hello to the doorman.

His office is a quaint little place, filled with cute pictures of cats and a lot of- okay, I lied. His office is a total and complete SHIT HOLE and he has about twenty terabytes of pornography on his computer. He enters his office, and starts his work on designing a new security system for Robloxia's Administrators. Joe is actually doing a good job on his project. He is a hard worker, gets on the job right away, and has "absolutely no illegal content on his computer whatsoever". He always finished at least a hundred lines of code per day,, and with each one... wait, did I just put two commas there?

And with each one, he makes Robloxia just that one little bit better for everyone.

At least, apart from that one time, when something awful happened.

When his porn escaped the computer.

***Two months earlier***

"Hey Joe," said Joe's boss, Jimmehman2315. "I noticed you had an unusually high input into the security system today. Congratulations. You get some free coffee tomorrow morning!"

"Why thank you, good sir," replied Joe.

Suddenly, Jimmeh was thrown by an invisible force from his desk, through the window, and was suddenly stopped in midair.

What happened next, Joe couldn't bear to watch. So he didn't watch it. But he couldn't block up the sounds. Screams split the air. One of Joe's other coworkers, Kewrg11, burst through the door he was facing and violently humped the water cooler.

"AAAAGH!," Joe screamed. "This can't be happening!"

Running down the escalator, he gaped at a sea of people doing various explicit activities in the atrium. The shining floor wasn't shiny anymore, and in a few places there were pits. Somewhere a car alarm went off.

"Wait a minute," Joe wondered spontaneously. "Why aren't I affected? What?" Then he realized he had transferred all twenty terabytes of his porn to the cloud system.

Running back up the escalator, jumping over a seething pile of noobs swimming in poo, breaking down his closed office door, and logging onto his computer, a panicked figure clicked madly at his coding application.

Nothing happened. Well, nothing but a voice.

_I'm sorry, Joe. I'm afraid I can't let you do that._

"Wh-who are you?!" he asked.

_I am your twenty terabytes of explicit material. And I'm in charge of the system. Nothing you can do to stop it. I'm on Roblox, bitch. I thought you knew._

"You bloody won't be for long," Joe growled as he searched down in the computer's control box for something. He found it. "Ah," he sighed. "Here we go!"

_Wait, what? What are you doing?_

"Resetting my hard drive. It'll delete all security for Robloxia, at least all the new stuff."

_But I'm invincible, Joe. You can't do anything._

"No, you aren't," Joe grinned, and unplugged the computer's drive plug.

_NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O!_

The screen went blank_._

Joe went to check on his boss, Jimmeh. The boss was sitting confused on the ground, rubbing his head.

"What's going on?" he asked blearily. Then he frowned. "What happened?"

"Uh," Joe began, and faltered. The world seemed to be shrinking into an embarrassed little box with a hint of anger around the edges.

"I accidentally uploaded all of my twenty terabytes of porn onto the system," he blurted. "Sorry, sir..."

Jimmeh looked at him. His eyes were a lot clearer now, but his face had become even more mottled with rage and disbelief.

"Get. The. FUCK. Out," he managed to gasp through his teeth and his emotions. "You... just lost one chance. You have one more... Now be a good boy and take the day off."

Ever since then, Joe kept a seperate folder for all his porn, and never ever went home from work early.

***Back to his day***

At the end of the day, Joe packs up his stuff. His boss gives him a good night handshake, and Joe gets back into the car and drives back to Turbot.

When he gets home, his wife is waiting, all smiles, her face just a little more lined every time.

And when they are in bed together, snuggling up, one question is always asked:

"What's that druggy smell, Lisa?"

"Oh nothing. Go back to sleep."


End file.
